


Bittersweet

by yeaka



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 22:45:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11240844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: Just a small moment in the morning.





	Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

She wakes to the soft glow of the stars as she has for over a year, traipsing lazily past the window of different quarters. She can tell, even through the veil of lingering dreams, that she’s not in her own bed. The configuration of the room isn’t right. And there’s a warm, still sweat-slicked body glued to her back, soft thighs intertwined with hers and full breasts pressed against her shoulder blades. Kathryn flexes them, shedding sleep, and tries to roll around. It’s difficult; B’Elanna’s grip is strong, even when unconscious. But Kathryn’s had too much practice at this. She knows how to creep about without rousing her lover. She turns to face B’Elanna properly, buried under the blankets, and watches the starlight ghost along each elegant ridge.

In sleep, B’Elanna’s softer than usual. Her rose lips are parted, long lashes down against her cheeks, silken hair fanned out around her. She doesn’t snore, but neither is she quiet. She’s still gloriously naked, as Kathryn is—they always seem to make love so hard it’s difficult to do anything afterwards. Kathryn’s body is still tired, still a little sore, but pleasantly so. She’ll have the memory of B’Elanna on her for hours, and the bruises of hidden finger marks even longer.

She’d stay, if she could. She never gets as much sleep as she’d like. There are too many things to do, and the digital numbers displayed on the far wall already portend of her schedule. She has a meeting with Tuvok in less than half an hour. He won’t say anything of it if she shows up disheveled and reeking of sex, but it would be discourteous of her to put him through that. She respects him too much. She pulls herself into routine and gently disentangles from B’Elanna’s hold, crawling out of bed. 

Her uniform is on the floor, hastily discarded and slowly donned—wherever her underwear’s gotten off to, it’s ruined anyway, if memory serves, and the top underneath will need some serious repairing. She finds her bra draped over the table and clips it on—the rest she can do in her own quarters. She’ll need a sonic shower anyway, and if she does it here, it’ll wake B’Elanna. And B’Elanna never gets enough sleep as it is. 

B’Elanna’s a hard woman to leave. As Kathryn finger-combs her hair up into a quick ponytail, she eyes B’Elanna’s sleeping form, even though it makes her heart clench. It isn’t just that B’Elanna’s pretty, but she’s _brilliant_ , and no one else can keep Kathryn up for hours in just technical discussions. She’s ashamed she ever doubted B’Elanna. Chakotay was right to advocate her promotion. 

But it’s more than that, and Kathryn knows it. This isn’t _fair_. As much as they draw each other in, work each other up, culminate in heated bouts of passion, they can’t really be _together_. There’s a power imbalance they can’t get around. Even if B’Elanna can always hold her own, and there’s no one on Kathryn’s level she could comfortably be with, this isn’t right. She tells herself she won’t make that mistake again.

They’ll have to talk about it. But Kathryn always tells herself that. And then _this_ happens, and Kathryn wakes up again in B’Elanna’s arms. 

She comes back to the bed to bend over it. She thinks of leaving a note, but there’s no time now, and she doesn’t know what she’d say. So she just kisses B’Elanna’s cheek and whispers, “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Then she leaves, still wondering which words she’ll say.


End file.
